Wonder or Wander

잊어야 한다는 마음으로 내 텅 빈 방문을 닫은 채로 아직도 남아 있는 너의 향기 내 텅 빈 방 안에 가득한데 이렇게 홀로 누워 천장을 보니 눈앞에 글썽이는 너의 모습 잊으려 돌아누운 내 눈가에 말 없이 흐르는 이슬 방울들 지나간 시간은 추억 속에 묻히면 그만인 것을 나는 왜 이렇게 긴긴 밤을 또 잊지 못해 새울까 창틈에 기다리던 새벽이 오면 어제보다 커진 내 방 안에 하얗게 밝아온 유리창에 썼다 지운다 널 사랑해

Just before determining to become an artist, he wrote the following letter to his brother from a mining town. "You know what will cause the prison to collapse? A deep, genuine love, being friends and brothers, loving one another; that will break down the gates of the prison with irresitable force. Those who possess none of this, stay dead. But where friendship blooms, life is reborn."

Michael Tippett premiere in 1955, England While the lyrics are dismantled in my sight due to the discontinuity of the lines--odd, it seems like adding some melodies to a normal speech,--the symbolic and surrealistic stage under the psychedelic neon-color lighting intrigues me throughout the opera. Props and performers move not only horizontally but also vertically so that the stage engages the audience in its full scale. When the singers don't sing, the opera becomes more adorable. Dramatic movements that dancers make in Act II express wildness of beasts very well and the accompanying music sounds more beautiful than any other parts. Perhaps the composer knew the weakness and the strength of his opera. He strived to initiate an "English" opera in the mid-20th century.

"Whisper" Hesse questioned a dictum made by Wilhelm Schäfer about the poet's task: "It is not the poet's business to express what is simple significantly but what is significant simply." Reading the passage with slight uneasiness, he turned it upside down as painters do when they judge a picture: "It is not the poet's business to express what is significant simply but rather what is simple significantly." He thought that the poet's duty was not to select important things and present them to readers, but to find eternity in every trivia and revive the life from it. While reading "Whisper", which consists of several short stories, I found Hesse's dictum resounding in this book. Pak Wan-Suh might be one of the most unpretentious storytellers who replicate the spontaneity of oral tradition. Sentences flow just like small streams in a mountain. Here is a brief of the story, 'The Last King'. Long long time ago, there was a g...

May you enjoy your days, each one of them.

Luc Jacquet, France (2005) They "walk" just like I do and "slip" on the snow just like I do. Amazingly precise their instincts call themselves to the place where they were born four years ago and they all march together to get there. Finally when they find their mate, they stand side by side peacefully. Once they have an egg, mother leaves to eat and father keeps the egg against severe weather for four months without any food. The severity bonds them to make a habitat with their own bodies in the open air. When mother comes back, she sees her baby and takes a turn to keep it warm under her body while father leaves for food. Finally, summer comes. All march back to the ocean and even the little chicks now should be independent. They no longer have their parents who have protected so hard. And their history continues. I think of a documentary film about insects' life that I saw about a decade ago. I haven't seen insects with such intimacy before. Although I do...

L'Express du 24/11/2005 "Je savais que le Pacifique nord était la route des dépressions et de la démesure. Et j'ai eu des conditions dantesques, avec 49 jours de vents contraires sur 129 de traversée. Je ramais parfois 18 heures par jour pour avancer d'un mille nautique [1 852 mètres]. Moralement, il fallait que j'avance, même de si peu. Quand on est seul en mer pendant 4 mois, on s'accroche à certains actes de la vie quotidienne. Je me rasais une fois par semaine. Je priais, je pleurais, je chantais. Comme à terre. Deux goélands m'ont suivi du début à la fin. Je les avais baptisés Jonathan et Seven. Ils me rendaient visite tous les jours. A la fin, je ne savais plus qui suivait qui."

L'Express du 17/11/2005 j'espère réveiller quelques consciences. La décharge électrique et funk de la guitare de Prince sur ce morceau était essentielle pour faire passer le courant. D'emblée, je me suis mis à jouer des percussions. Certes, nous ne sommes qu'un grain de sable, mais, si chaque être faisait chaque jour un geste pour la paix, pour l'égalité et le respect de la vie, tout pourrait changer. ( Grâce à lui, le jour de l'anniversaire de la naissance de Martin Luther King devienne une fête nationale aux Etats-Unis, proposition qui fut entérinée en 1984.)

"생명의 아픔" 중 그러나 사방에 충만한 생명의 소리를 듣는 것이 반갑지 않고 몹시 괴롭다. 10여 년 전, 기르던 꿩들이 도망하여 울타리 밖 숲 속에서 살았는데 꿩이 우는 소리를 들으며 아직 살아 있었구나 싶어 반갑게 안도의 숨을 내쉬었다. 이제는 꿩 우는 소리에 가슴이 아프다. 어디 가서 저 새들은 새로운 보금자리를 만들 것인가 싶어서... 당시의 원주는 추운 곳이었습니다. 삭막한 군사도시에는 감나무는 물론 백일홍도 없었습니다. 어떤 분은 내가 글 쓰기 위해 원주로 왔다고 생각하는 모양이지만 그건 내게 사치스런 것이었습니다. 나는 인생만큼 문학이 거룩하고 절실하다고 생각하지 않습니다. 단구동의 뜨락은 꽤 넓었고 그것이 내 세계의 전부였습니다. 삶은 준열하고 나날의 노동 없이는 내 자신이 분열되고 말 것만 같았고 긴장을 푸는 순간 눈은 감은 채 영원히 깨어나지 못할 것만 같았습니다. 모든 것을 거부하고 포기했으며 오로지 목숨을 부지한 것은 가엾은 내 딸, 손자의 눈빛 때문입니다. 그 때 머리가 다 빠지고 철색으로 변한 딸아이의 얼굴은 아직도 지워지지 않는 내 마음속의 짙은 피멍입니다. 그리고 언어가 지닌 피상적인 속성은 지금 이 순간에도 절감하고 있습니다. 진실에 도달할 수 없는 언어에 대한 몸부림, 그럼에도 우리는 그 언어에서 떠나질 못합니다. 그게 문학이 아니겠습니까. 그리고 그 시절, 거부하고 포기한, 극한적 고독의 산물이 "토지"였을 겁니다. She is a great writer and conscientious intellectual.

Passing by me at the library, Ichiro wanted to show off his digital camera. Here is his work of art. by Ichiro Yuhara

Chan-wook Pak, Korea (2003) Incest, vengeance, violence, self-destruction, fantasy, materialism... A colored-Japanese street cartoon could be more efficient to tell the same story. Would it be just out of my habit to constantly seek the subtitles? It has brilliant c0lor, but poor sound quality.

Everyone dances. Delicacy, which is usually sought in many arts, is not immidiately visible. Instead, amusement of instances of being alive is eminent. This group reminds me of the days where I was traveling in Puerto Rico. In the middle of December, music and dances are all around the city San Juan. I buy their animated spirits, but they failed to put me in the mood for dancing tonight.

Terri Lyne Carrington, Director, Drum Rita Coolidge/Niki Haris/Joan Osbourne/Dianne Reeves/Rotia Traoré, Vocals It is a spectacular show which celebrates Billie Holiday's spirit and her music. The story follows Holiday's passion about her music and her struggle to go through amid white male dominant music industry. Another time, I wish to take a close look into the lyrics of her music. Osbourne has a pristine vocal style in comparison with Coolidge and Haris and "I'm a fool to want you" she presented still hangs around my ears. Reeves has a charisma and responds to her expected fame. Her duet song--I think it is "Endangered species", or it doesn't matter anyway--with Traoré is the zenith tonight. Traoré has a very unusual style in that her voice sounds fragile but not vulnerable, rather even spiritual. Her voice seems to come from a temple in a deep mountain. Metal instruments don't go well with her voice and only a few percussions and a bass mi...

Directed by David Cronenberg (2005) Cronenberg had left me a sensation of nauseating horror from "Videodrome" and "Crash". (I am just amazed that he also directed "M. Butterfly", which is quite different from his other works.) Just out of curiosity about how he described violence, I went to a theatre on a rainly Saturday afternoon. The film begins with such a weary dialog between two murderers. The car slowly moves and so does the camera, then it reveals three murdered bodies uniquely. First is from the murderer's eyes when he entered the room, second is after his pushing an object in front of the camera, then the third is by taking a shot of a gun. This prelude, which could be an independent short movie, sets fire on this film. Tom Stall(by Viggo Mortensen), who is a business owner of a small restaurant in a small town, has those two murderes in his restaurant and comes to kill them to protect others. This somewhat secretly reserved guy becomes a nati...

Giacomo Puccini Vladimir Galouzine (Des Grieux) Katrina Mattila (Manon Lescaut) ACT I Beautiful Manon, who is on the way to a convent, flees with Des Grieux, who falls in love with her at the first glance. Manon, beautiful but sad, is irresolute, but to escape from an abduct planned by an old rich man, she has no other choice than leaving with Des Grieux. The orchestra overwhelms arias and I am thinking how much I paied for this. ACT II Manon enjoys the luxury in the palace of the old rich man in Paris. This advent was only insinuated by her brother in the end of Act I. He told the old rich man that Manon who envies the wealth would come back to him. What would be more interesting to me is why Manon, who was seemingly distressed--remember that she was on the way to a convent--and also loved Des Grieux so much, left him. Amid the jewelry, she now misses the kisses from Des Grieux. Stupidity and vanity! By her brother's help, Manon meets Des Grieux in secret. From this moment, the op...

The egony of being, at the Museum of Rodin, Paris, 2005.

Trio! Stanley Clarke, Bass Béla Fleck, Banjo Jean-Luc Ponty, Violin ...at Chicago Symphony Center A week ago, I told my friend that it was not easy for me to appreciate the bass itself because the tone tends to be very low and never predominant. But today, I need to change what I said. Most of all I haven't seen a more wonderful picture of a man with a bass than tonight. The big instrument always seemed to suspend the player in an awkward position. But Mr. Clarke dominates the instrument and plays with it. The gigantic instrument sometimes becomes a drum with trembling strings or sometimes becomes a guitar which seems to be passed onto a Spanish flamenco music player. All the time he looks much more passionate than any flamenco dancer. I am deeply impressed that one can explode such dynamic sound and rhythm from the bass. Mr. Ponty also presents violin sound which I never heard before. It seems that he doesn't care making beatiful melody and he likes to go beyond the tone withi...

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Director: Wen Jiang China, 2000 The movie tells a story in a peaceful Chinese village when it was occupied by Japaneses between 1944 and 1945, but it is not about the horrendous historical events but about human's devilish mind and its conflicts. In a such small town, the villagers seem to get along with japanese occupants until a Japanese soldier and a Chinese translator were mysteriously deposited by an armed stranger for a limited period of time. Threatened by the stranger, the villagers get together and discuss how to handle the two. Even after a few months passed, the stranger doesn't come back to get them, so the villagers decide to kill them for their own safety. The one, Da San(?), who is destined to kill them couldn't do it, so hide them in a secret place and feed them. Not knowing this fact, his pregnant wife shuns him and doesn't like even a slight touch from him. The man is too conscientious to stand all the situation. For all the efforts that he made, the d...